North Korean Economy Watch

Daily NK
Namgung Min
10/13/2008

The Chosun (North Korean) Workers’ Party controls and restricts all types of people: from party members to non-members, from the upper-class to the proletariat.

As the Party rules over the state, it coerces people to follow not the socialist constitution of the DPRK, but the party’s Ten Principles for the Establishment of the One-Ideology System (hereafter referred to as the Ten Principles).

The Ten Principles that the Party uses to restrict the people are something that everyone born in North Korea has to memorize and follow at home, work and school for their whole life.

The framework for the Ten Principles was laid by Kim Jong Il in his role as Party Secretary. Later he declared the principles throughout North Korea in February, 1974.

With the Ten Principles Kim Jong Il set standards for North Koreans’ daily lives and their daily activities.

Supervision and Restriction through Regular Party Evaluation Meetings

The Party’s regular evaluation meetings are the tools most typically utilized to monitor all affairs related to the work and personal lives of Party members.

According to Article 8, Section 5 of the Ten Principles, party members are required to “actively attend the Party’s regular evaluation meetings that are held every other day or every week in order to train oneself to become a revolutionary and to continuously rebuild oneself through criticism using the standards of the Leader’s teaching and the Party’s policies as a guide.”

During the regular evaluation meetings, first members within a certain period of time are to confess flaws and mistakes they or others made in their work or personal lives; what they said and did; and, one’s ways of thinking. Then they criticize themselves and one another.

These evaluation meetings are held weekly. There also are monthly and quarterly evaluation meetings, which vary in subject and scope.

If one tries to hide or minimize one’s mistakes during these evaluation meetings, then the level of criticism gets stronger.

“You can pass an evaluation meeting safely only when you seem to be repentant by showing tears and exaggerating even when the flaws are not that serious,” explained Mr. Kim, who defected in 2006.

The quarterly meetings sometimes last a half a day or a day.

Especially after reciprocal criticisms during the evaluation meetings, upper-level cadres of the Party submit the results to Kim Jong Il or the Guidance Department of the Central Committee of the Party for review. Later, the results of the evaluation are announced to the people involved.

The evaluations (similar to a South Korean court decision) can result in comparatively light sentences such as a warning, a severe warning or suspension of one’s qualifications. However, at times, severe punishments are given out such as mining work, farm labor without pay, suspension of one’s titles, banishment to remote regions, or referral to the National Security Agency. If charged and prosecuted, one may be sentenced to intensive labor or re-education camps.

Supervision through Various Forms of Guidance and Education

The Workers’ Party supervises and restricts the people by brainwashing them using various forms of instruction and lectures.

According to Article 4, Section 5 of the Ten Principles, everyone must “attend meetings, lectures and lessons without missing any to learn the Great Father Kim Il Sung’s revolutionary ideology and actively study the rules for more than two hours everyday.”

The mandatory Saturday meetings in particular are known to be the basic brainwashing tool; they are thoroughly prepared by the Propaganda and Agitation Department and involve lectures and documentary film lessons.

The brainwashing process that North Koreans have the hardest time with is the catechetical lessons.

The catechetical lessons take the form of a competition and include preliminary, semi-final and final rounds. During these lessons, all cadres, party members and residents have to memorize more than 100 pages of “catechetical lesson material” that have been prepared by the Propaganda and Agitation Department without getting one word wrong.

The catechetical lesson material includes Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il’s works, the Ten Principles for the Establishment of the One-Ideology System, Juche ideology and related philosophical issues, documents that praise the morals and majesty of Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il, and various poems and songs praising the Kims.

The groups or individuals that win the competition get awards like a television and honor. But those who do not claim victory become the targets of criticism by the organizations to which they belong and the Party apparatus for slacking on studying ideology.

Restricting People Through Various Organizations

In North Korea, all people who are not part of the Workers’ Party must be mandatorily restricted by the Party’s quasi-governmental organizations.

Such organizations include the Kim Il Sung Socialist Youth League, the General Federation of Trade Unions of North Korea, the Union of Agricultural Working People, the Union of Democratic Women the and Korean Children’s Union.

The Kim Il Sung Socialist Youth League (the Youth League) is the biggest and most active political group, the only non-party member group for young people, and includes working youths, students, and military men.

The Youth League, by restricting the ideological culture and organized groups of all youths, monitors any changes in the society’s way of thinking that may happen with the change of generations. It also organizes all youths to be actively involved in production, construction and military service.

The Youth League plays the important role of restricting any form of opposition groups or actions among the youths of North Korea.

Youth League members who have reached the age of 30 but have not joined the Party must join the General Federation of Trade Unions, if one is a laborer or low-ranking manager, the Union of Agricultural Working People if one is a farmer, or the Union of Democratic Women if one is a housewife.

These workers’ organizations are managed by the work departments of the committees and the Central Committee of the Party.

Therefore, non-Party members in North Korea receive double supervision–from the organizations they belong to and from their workplace.

The Chosun Workers’ Party has been strictly restricting and supervising its people for 63 years, which is the period of disgrace of the Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il dictatorships.

Daily NK
Lee Sung Jin
10/7/2008

An inside source from North Korea reported on the 6th that the North Korean authorities have ordered that any woman under the age of 70 who is able to hear, see, and move should participate in the activities of the “Chosun (Korean) Democratic Women’s Union.”

According to the source, “The Central Committee of the Women’s Union Chairwoman Kim Soon Hee decreed that the elderly who are able to move must participate in Union activities, rather than uselessly sitting around and complaining about society.”

After the worsening food situation, the source said that the elderly often sit around and pour forth their complaints about society, saying that “We did not live like this before… If we worked, at least we received wages and provisions, but what kind of a situation is this nowadays?” and blaming the inadequate governance of officials.

Since the food crisis, there have been many instances of the elderly selling goods in alleyways or at street-stands. In particular, after the implementation of the regulation of December 2007 which prevents women less than 40 years of age doing business in the market, the elderly increasingly sell products at stands which are managed by young women from behind the scenes.

Elderly women who do business in the jangmadang (market) have been accordingly playing the role of circulators of all kinds of rumors and complaints, such as saying, “How many more years are left in our lives? At least our children must live well, but there is no sign of that and it is much worse than the Japanese colonial period; how can we not blame the world?”

The recent measure can be seen as another ploy to control the citizens by the North Korean authorities. However, involving elderly women in organizational activities to prevent the worsening of civilian sentiment has been protested against by constituents as well as the elderly.

The elderly who heard the recent news have complained, “It is difficult enough just to live until our 60s, how can they tell us to participate in the Women’s Union activities as well?”

Also, the source relayed elderly concerns over their livelihoods, “Members participate in study sessions twice a week and have to carry out tasks distributed by the Union, so they do not have time to sell in the market. In their free time during the difficult period, they have been doing business and helping their families get by. The changed regulation is a death sentence for these families.”

Currently, the total number of members in the Korean Democratic Women’s Union, which started out as the “North Chosun Democratic Women’s Union” on November 18, 1945, is around 200,000. Until now, the targeted entrants have been women over 31 and below 55 who do not belong in other organizations or working places. The main activities of the Women’s Union are studying political ideology regarding women and rolling out various projects.

According to KCNA, Kim Jong il made his first public appearance this weekend since going “off-line” August 14, 2008.  Kim’s failure to preside over the September 9 celebrations marking the 60th anniversary of DPRK’s founding unleashed a flood of speculation in the Western media that Kim is in bad health—prompting a rare public denial from North Korean government officials.

The North Korean people, however, have been kept in the dark about Kim’s absense from the 60th anniversary festivities.  The average North Korean knows almost nothing about Kim Jong il or his family, and most are probably too busy trying to make ends meet to pay much attenention to his health.  In Pyongyang, though, his absesnce at the celebrations was very visible.  No doubt the Pyongyang rumor mill went into effect shortly after the second parade participant set foot in Kim il Sung Square.  

So this weekend, KCNA issued the following report—no doubt intended to assure the DPRK citizenry that their leader is just fine:

Kim Jong Il Enjoys Student Football Match
 
Pyongyang, October 4 (KCNA) — General Secretary Kim Jong Il enjoyed a student football match on the occasion of the 62nd anniversary of Kim Il Sung University, the highest institution of Juche-based education and science.

There was the football match between teams of Kim Il Sung University and Pyongyang University of Railways that day, at which the former beat the latter 4-1.

After watching the match, Kim Jong Il congratulated the players on their good results, saying that the revolutionary and militant students in our country are good at art and sporting activities while devoting all their wisdom and enthusiasm to the study of science for the country and the people.

He noted with great satisfaction that the above-said universities have produced a large number of able cadres and technical personnel for the nation who play a leading role in the revolution and construction, thus positively contributing to the cause of building a great prosperous and powerful nation, and highly praised the achievements made by them over the past years.

It is of weighty significance in accomplishing the revolutionary cause of Juche and building a rich and powerful nation to train the students who will shoulder the destiny of the country in the future to be able talents with ample knowledge and good physique, he said, advancing highly important tasks that should be regarded as guidelines in developing the intellectual and ideological education and sports at universities.

Accompanying him were First Vice Department Director Ri Jae Il and other leading officials of the C.C., the Workers’ Party of Korea and officials concerned.

Skepticism in the western media appeared moments after this report hit the internet (here and here). 

This morning, I did a quick search of KCNA reports (using the STALIN search engine) and it turns out that KCNA has never reported (in English) that Kim Jong il has attended a football match (though records only go back to 1996).  If the KCNA report is true, this would be the first football match Kim has attended in over 12 years!

The Daily NK offers a summery of Kim’s activities this year right up until he went dormant:

According to the analysis of North Korean media released on September 17th by the South Korean Ministry of Unification, Kim Jong Il had been involved in 75 public appearances this year, up until August 14th.

He participated in 42 military related activities, 5 diplomatic affairs and various other events. He viewed at least one or two artistic performances, but not once did he observe a sports game.

From August 1st to 14th, when the National Intelligence Service made public the claim that Kim Jong Il had had a stroke, he had appeared publicly 13 times. 11 were military inspections, one time was an economic inspection and one was an artistic performance.

Since Kim Il Sung’s death, this has been the third-longest term of sequestered life, around 50 days. Each time, he finally released news of his wellbeing through the press.

The longest one was after his father’s death, on September 8th, 1994; he disappeared from the North Korean media for 87 days. At the time, North Korean media reported that he was spending 100 days mourning for his father.

Second, at the time, around January 10, 2003, when North Korea withdrew from the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty, and March 20, when the Iraq war broke out, Kim Jong Il was not seen for a total of 49 days. The withdrawal from the NPT triggered the start of a crisis; after participating in a banquet for a Russian delegation on February 12, Kim disappeared from the public sphere. After 49 days, a report was released that Kim had taken part in an onsite inspection at Kim Hyong Jik College, a military medical college.

Read other stories here:
North Korea Says Kim Jong Il May Be `Tired,’ Yonhap Reports
Bloomberg
Heejin Koo
10/2/2008

Playing the Game of Spot North Korea’s Kim Jong Il
Rosett Report
Claudia Rosett
10/5/2008

Doubts Arise Over N. Korean Leader’s Appearance
Donga Ilbo
10/6/2008

North Korea Reports First Kim Jong Il Appearance
Bloomberg
Heejin Koo
10/4/2008

One for Sports among Kim Jong Il’s Public Activities
Daily NK
Yang Jung A
10/6/2008 

North Korea Uncovered: Version 12
Download it here

About this Project: This map covers North Korea’s agriculture, aviation, cultural locations, markets, manufacturing facilities, energy infrastructure, political facilities, sports venues, military establishments, religious facilities, leisure destinations, national parks, shipping, mining, and railway infrastructure. It is continually expanding and undergoing revisions. This is the 12th version.

Additions include: Tongch’ang-dong launch facility overlay (thanks to Mr. Bermudez), Yongbyon overlay with destroyed cooling tower (thanks to Jung Min Noh), “The Barn” (where the Pueblo crew were kept), Kim Chaek Taehung Fishing Enterprise, Hamhung University of education, Haeju Zoo, Pyongyang: Kim il Sung Institute of Politics, Polish Embassy, Munsu Diplomatic Store, Munsu Gas Station, Munsu Friendship Restaurant, Mongolian Embassy, Nigerian Embassy, UN World Food Program Building, CONCERN House, Czech Republic Embassy, Rungnang Cinema, Pyongyang University of Science and Technology, Pyongyang Number 3 Hospital, Electric Machines Facotry, Bonghuajinlyoso, Second National Academy of Sciences, Central Committee Building, Party Administration Building, Central Statistics Bureau, Willow Capital Food House, Thongounjong Pleasure Ground, Onpho spa, Phipa Resort Hotel, Sunoni Chemical Complex (east coast refinery), Ponghwa Chemical complex (west coast refinery), Songbon Port Revolutionary Monument, Hoeryong People’s Library, Pyongyang Monument to the anti Japanese martyrs, tideland reclamation project on Taegye Island. Additionally the electricity grid was expanded and the thermal power plants have been better organized. Additional thanks to Ryan for his pointers.

I hope this map will increase interest in North Korea. There is still plenty more to learn, and I look forward to receiving your contributions to this project.

Version 12 available: Download it here

Institute for Far Eastern Studies  (IFES)
(NK Brief No. 08-9-18-1)
2008-09-18

The latest issue of the North Korean academic journal “Institute for Social Science Bulletin” (no.3, 2008) stressed that in order to resolve the North’s food shortage problems as quickly as possible, “it is necessary to take a good assessment of future food consumption [needs].”

In this issue, recently obtained in South Korea, an article reads, “the project for resolving the food issue cannot be pushed forward into the future, and while taking into consideration what steps can be taken now, the country’s food problems cannot ultimately be relieved by relying only on short-term benefits. On the contrary, [this] can adversely affect the future resolution of the food issue.”

The journal also added, “The task of restructuring food production must start with an assessment of future food consumption and start off with a view of long term interests rather than from starting from a standpoint of short-term interests in order to completely relieve food supply problems.” It stressed, “These days, resolving the country’s food supply problem is the most urgent and important task…solving food issues is an urgent problem that cannot be delayed a single moment,” but warned, “while the food issue must be solved without a day’s delay, recklessly pushing forward without scientific calculation or goals could result in insufficient and disorganized future results.”

According to a recent update from Koryo Tours, this year’s mass games have been extended through October 10th, which is the 63rd Party Founding Day.

This might be the last time for Americans to visit Pyongyang until 2012.

Daily NK
Moon Sung Hwee
9/16/2008

Chuseok is considered one of the most important national holidays in South Korea, but this is not the case in North Korea.

North Korea’s most celebrated holidays are Kim Il Sung’s birthday (April 15th) and Kim Jong Il’s birthday (February 16th). Chuseok is no more meaningful than simply a day to groom one’s ancestral gravesites.

It was especially difficult to comfortably celebrate Chuseok this year because Chuseok fell on a Sunday, the day after the time when North Koreans are required to participate in regular evaluation meetings, lectures, and mass events.

In fact, North Korea completely neglected Seolnal (Lunar New Year’s Day) and Chuseok up until the mid-1980s, claiming that they originated from China.

However, Pyongyang began showing an interest in national holidays at the time of the “13th World Festival for Youth and Students,” held in Pyongyang in 1989. The North Korean authorities felt it necessary to propagate the excellence of its national history through national traditions on display for the foreigners attending the festival; including Seolnal and Chuseok.

As a consequence, some North Koreans began to perceive that Chuseok was a valuable national holiday, not a Chinese holiday. However, Chuseok still has a tendency to be considered a day off to take care of a forefather’s gravesite rather than a true national holiday.

The second reason why Chuseok is just considered a day off is because of North Korea’s poor infrastructure and North Koreans’ economic hardship.

The North Korean authorities grant a special break the day before Chuseok for those whose forefathers’ gravesites are far away in order to minimize any inconvenience. On the day off, the authorities even “guarantee” North Koreans’ convenience by increasing the numbers of trains and buses.

However due to the extremely poor infrastructure in North Korea and the complicated process of transit, it is almost impossible for families to gather together on Chuseok.

When the authorities speak of increasing the number of buses and trains for the convenience of North Koreans, they only increase the schedule by one or two. North Koreans cannot even consider visiting families because in order for them to travel to different provinces or districts, they need to be granted an official travel certificate.

Most North Koreans visiting their forefathers’ gravesites therefore have to walk approximately 39km (24 miles). If they want to visit gravesites in different districts, then they have to request a travel certificate, get a train ticket 10 days in advance and get ready to stand on a busy train for two or three days.

A third reason why it is difficult for North Koreans to comfortably celebrate Chuseok is related to the fact that Chuseok is in “autumn.” For North Koreans, autumn is an extremely busy season. Not only farmers but factory workers, housewives and even students are mobilized to harvest and transport crops. Furthermore, each household has to prepare and get ready to survive the long winter. Therefore, taking care of forefathers has to be put on the back burner.

Nevertheless, there are an increased number of so called bourgeoisie-high ranking officials or successful businessmen- visiting forefathers’ gravesites these days. But the reason for such visits is aberrant. They visit not to pay respects to deceased forefathers but to gain money, power and promotion by exercising superstitions.

Among Pyongyang citizens in the early 21st century, covertly visiting fortunetellers and paying exorbitant amounts of money to get one’s fortune told became popular. The trend has quickly spread not just among regular residents but among North Korean intelligentsia such as Party members, military personnel and educators.

Blaming forefathers for any negative fortune is a commonality found among North Korean fortunetellers. Therefore, in order to reverse such a fortune, forefather’s gravesites are often mentioned. The fortunetellers often advise taking better care of the ceremonial tables by forefathers’ gravesites. For this reason, many North Koreans spend time going to their forefathers’ gravesites despite their distance.

These people visit the forefathers’ gravesites to bury money near the gravesites (they bury 55 won or 555 won hoping for more money to come to them since the sound of number 5 in Korean means “to come”) or to burn red cloth to spread ashes in a certain direction following fortunetellers’ instructions. For them, Chuseok is a day to practice superstition for their survival in front of forefathers’ gravesites.

In South Korea, people spend money on Chuseok to share gifts or to prepare food for their families. However, North Koreans on this day spend money to exercise age-old superstitions. At least these people have money to spend. There is no extra public distribution at Chuseok in North Korea. Therefore, Chuseok means nothing to those poor North Koreans who have no money. It is just another day to worry about what they are going to eat.

UPDATE:  Thanks to Mr. Kuslan for the additions in the comment section!

ORIGINAL POST: Humor was an important coping mechanism for people living in communist societies. Sadly, the expression of some humor could be interpreted as subversive behavior and land the joke-teller in serious trouble. 

This reality still exists for people in a number of current and former socialist republics, so they adopt practices that mitigate the risk of telling jokes.  For instance, in Turkmenistan people tell jokes about “Stalin” but implicitly understand they are (were) about Turkmenbashi.  

Last year, I received a copy of the documentary Tickle and Hammer, which is a collection of Soviet-era jokes. What a treasure. ( You can buy the book version here.  Here is an interview with the project director. )  After seeing this film, I wondered how many of these jokes were popular in the DPRK. Well, this week Radio Free Asia reports on some North Korean jokes collected from defectors now living in the South:

Happy days
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a North Korean are having a chat. The Englishman says: “I feel happiest when I’m at home, my wool pants on, sitting in front of the fireplace.”

The Frenchman, a ladies’ man, says: “You English people are so conventional. I feel happiest when I go to a Mediterranean beach with a beautiful blond-haired woman, and we do what we’ve got to do on the way back.”

The North Korean man says: “In the middle of the night, the secret police knock on the door, shouting: Kang Sung-Mee, you’re under arrest! And I say, Kang Sung-Mee doesn’t live here, but right next door! That’s when we’re happiest!”

Long Live Kim Jong Il!
Chang Man Yong works on a collective farm in North Korea. He goes fishing, gets lucky, and brings a fish home. Happy about his catch, he tells his wife: “Look what I’ve got. Shall we eat fried fish today?”
The wife says: “We’ve got no cooking oil!”
“Shall we stew it, then?”
“We’ve got no pot!”
“Shall we grill it?”
“We’ve got no firewood!”
Chang Man Yong gets angry, goes back to the river, and throws the fish back into the water. The fish, happy to have had such a narrow escape, sticks its head out of the water and cheerfully yells: “Long live General Kim Jong Il!”

Move over, comrade!
Two men are talking on a Pyongyang subway train:
“How are you, comrade?”
“Fine, how are you doing?”
“Comrade, by any chance, do you work for the Central Committee of the Workers’ Party?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Have you worked for the Central Committee before?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Then, are any of your family members working for the Central Committee?”
“Nope.”
“Then, get away from me! You’re standing on my foot!”

Bear hug
Kim Jong Il and Vladimir Putin are having a summit meeting in Moscow. During a break, they’re bored, and they decide to take a bet to see whose bodyguards are more loyal.

Putin is on the 20th floor and calls on his bodyguard Ivan, opens the window, and says: “Ivan, jump!”

Sobbing, Ivan says: “Mr. President, how can you ask me to do that? I have a wife and child waiting for me at home…”

Putin sheds a tear himself, apologizes to Ivan, and sends him away.

Next, it’s Kim Jong Il’s turn. He calls his bodyguard Lee Myung Man and yells: “Lee Myung Man, jump!” Not hesitating for a split second, Lee Myung Man is just about to jump out the window. Putin hugs Lee Myung Man to prevent him from jumping and says: “Are you out of your mind? If you jump out this window, you’ll die! This is the 20th floor!” Nevertheless, Lee Myung Man is still struggling, trying to escape Putin’s embrace and jump out the window: “President Putin, please let me go! I have a wife and child at home!”

Out of the mouths…
At High School No. 1 in Pyongyang, a girl brags to her teacher about the cat she’s got at home: “Our cat has just given birth to seven kittens. All of them just stick close to their mother, they feel really comfortable, and sleep all the time. They’re all true communists.”

A few days later, the teacher asks the girl: “Are the communist kittens at home growing up nicely?”

The girl says: “Comrade teacher, big trouble! They’ve all opened their eyes, and they’ve all renounced communism!”

Looking at the sun and saying it is the moon
Child: “Mom, I’m hungry. I want rice.”
Mother: “I’m sorry, child. There’s no rice left.”
Child: “No rice! Why is there no rice? Our kindergarten teacher told us that if General Kim Jong Il points his finger to sand, it turns into rice. So, why is there no rice in our house?”
Mother: “Well, that’s a lie. No, what I actually meant to say was that’s a matter of deeply rooted belief.”
Child: “Mom, what’s deeply rooted belief?”
Mother: “Well, it’s a lie you’re supposed to believe.”

Another country
A woman living in North Hamgyong province comes back home after a hard day at the open market. While she was working hard, the husband spent the whole day at home, daydreaming. As soon as she returns home, they start talking, and the husband says: “Sweetheart, I’d love to go to some place I’ve never seen before, and do something I’ve never done before…”

The wife retorts: “That’s a great idea. Go to the kitchen and wash the dishes!”

Black cats, white cats, large mice
Chinese, Russian, Japanese, American, and North Korean police officers gather and decide to assess their investigative capacity. Under the watchful eye of their supervisors, each team gets a mouse, then lets it loose, and the mouse runs up a big mountain. The winning team is the one that manages to catch and bring back the mouse in the shortest time.

The Chinese police employ human wave tactics, combing every square inch on the mountain in their thousands.

They capture and return the mouse after only one day’s search.

The Japanese policemen use a smell detector, and after only half a day, they detect the mouse hole, search it, catch the mouse and bring it back.

The Russian cops send a robot equipped with a heat-seeking device up the mountain. The robot locates all the mammals on the mountain and after only three hours the Russians capture and bring back the mouse.

The only ones left now are the American and North Korean police officers. The Americans use a satellite signal device to locate the mouse, and then send in a mechanical gadget that looks like a snake gliding up the mountain.

The gadget gets into the mouse hole, catches the mouse and brings it back after only one hour.

The North Koreans are last. Although the supervisors are watching, none of them makes a move, there is no brainstorming, and no one comes up with a plan of action, nothing at all. After only about 10 minutes, a few North Korean police officers show up dragging a dog before the supervisors, saying they’ve found the mouse.

All the supervisors are puzzled: “What are you doing? It is not a dog you were supposed to catch! Weren’t you supposed to catch a mouse?” Instead of answering, the North Korean cops drag the dog through the dirt and repeatedly kick it in the ribs. The sobbing dog suddenly starts to talk: “Stop, stop, please stop! Yes, I confess, I’m a mouse! I’m a mouse, please concede that I’m a mouse, or else they’re going to kill me!”

Food for thought
Professor: “Comrade students, how many economic-political systems are there in the world?”

Student: “There are three such systems: The capitalist economic-political system, the North Korean socialist economic system, and the Chinese eclectic system.”

Professor: “Then, among these three systems, which one is the greatest?”

Student: “Well, it might be rather difficult to answer that question.”

Professor: “What kind of an answer is that? There is only one clear answer! Our style of socialist economic-political system is the greatest, as this is the system that’s destined to conquer the entire world and spur eternal economic development!”

Student: “Professor, that is great, indeed… But if our system takes over the world and all of the other countries and economic-political systems, then whom are we going to ask for food aid?”

Black and white
A member of the Chinese Communist Party goes to study in North Korea, where he gets to learn about juche, the official state ideology of North Korea and the political system based on it.

The Chinese Communist Party member wishes to let his friends back home know what life in North Korea is like.

However, he knows for sure that all the letters he sends are opened by the North Korean authorities, so he thinks of a way to bypass censorship.

The Chinese decides to write words meaning precisely what they say in blue ink, words conveying neutral meaning in black ink, and words intended to convey the very opposite meaning in green ink.

After a while, his friends back home in China receive a letter from North Korea. The letter was written entirely in black ink, meant for words carrying neutral meaning.

The conclusion they draw is that North Korea is not as good as the North Korean authorities’ propaganda says it is, and it is not as bad as the critics of the North Korean regime say it is. However, at the bottom of the letter, they come across a note from their friend: “My friends, I apologize. Green ink is unavailable here….”

The Workers’ Paradise
At an art museum in Europe, an Englishman, a Frenchman, and a North Korean stand before a painting of Adam and Eve holding an apple in the Garden of Eden.

The Englishman says: “The man has something tasty to eat and is eager to share it with the woman. Based on that, I would conclude that they’re rather obviously English…”

The Frenchman says: “I disagree. They’re walking around entirely naked, so they must be French…”

The North Korean says: “There is no doubt in my mind that they’re North Korean. They have no clothes to wear, barely anything to eat, and they still think they’re in heaven!” (Radio Free Asia)

If any readers from former/current socialist countries know any jokes they can contribute (especially jokes from the DPRK), please add them in the comments section. 

Iason Athanasiadis, an Istanbul-based writer and photographer, recently visited the DPRK to see the Arirang performance.  He wrote about his trip in The National.  Below are some highlights:

Tourism:

Often referred to as the world’s final frontier, North Korea accepts just under 2000 Western tourists every year and offers residency to a handful of foreign businessmen. Barely 100 Western foreigners live in Pyongyang, including diplomats and businessmen.

Doing Business in Pyongyang:

Waiting to have my bags X-rayed I bumped into a European permanent resident, a cheerful trader who imported computer parts from China into North Korea. Once a month, he said, he travels to Shenyang to stock up on monitors, laptops and motherboards. In North Korea, he “donates or sells them at no profit”. His hope is that, when North Korea opens up, he will be well-positioned to profit handsomely from the new economy. Since he didn’t come across as a staunch advocate of Communist ideals, I assumed he was reaping some additional profit from his sojourn in Pyongyang, about which he remained modest.

He described Pyongyang as like any other large city, but with cleaner air. Entry into North Koreans’ houses is banned, as is leaving the city for the countryside without permission and an escort. Romantic relations with North Korean women are similarly prohibited. The only locals who would come to his parties are business associates. Looking through the windows, he talked about the small, unmarked jet parked in the runway that he thought contained American nuclear inspectors.

“They’re very intelligent, thinking people,” the European businessman said of the North Koreans. “They are all independent thinkers. But they’re also split personalities, they compartmentalise their thoughts. Even I’ve brainwashed myself when I’m here. I self-censor.”

Later, he sent me an e-mail quoting a Cold War-era Sting song titled Russians whose refrain runs “We share the same biology; Regardless of ideology.” “You give a smile, they give a smile and the world is in peace,” he wrote. “And I can tell you: the Koreans do love their children.”

Perspective:

The lack of perspective in their cloistered lives became clearer at night, when the guides invited me into the hotel bar to review the pictures I had taken during the day. How were these men, who had never set foot in the West, supposed to judge what did or did not depict North Korea in a negative light? Innocuous pictures – like one of men squatting on the pavement with a portrait of the Great Leader in the distant background – were deleted, while photos that showed what any outsider would immediately recognise as rampant poverty and societal breakdown barely caught their eye.

Pyongyang:

The night before the opening performance of the Games, I sat in my room, listening to the sounds of Pyongyang slumbering. The DPRK is subject to a permanent curfew. A central switch turns off lights inside apartments shortly after the day’s last radio broadcast. That night, the only light came from the May Day stadium, where last-moment preparations continued for Arirang’s opening night. The only sounds coming through the open window were of bricks tumbling on some distant construction site. Some lights winked in the dark buildings. A parade ground drill rhythm wafted from the stadium. Then, all sounds stopped, aside from the breeze, an occasional ship’s horn, and the repetitive monotone of metal striking metal, as if some lone Stakhanovite worker was still out in the darkness and the silence, fulfilling another quota-surpassing day. At 3am, long after all sound had subsided, an amplified voice started up, slicing the night with slogans.

You can read the full article here:
The mass ornament
Iasson Athanasiadis
The Naitonal
9/5/2008

Joseph Dresnok, the last of the DPRK’s four US defectors, sat down with Mark Seddon to give his first interview since the 2006 release of Crossing the Line.

Click on image below to see the interview on YouTube:

Pictured Above: Dresnok with Glyn Ford, EU parliamentarian and author of North Korea on the Brink

The interview was also written up in The Guardian.  Much of the material is covered in Crossing the Line, with a couple of notable exceptions:

Dresnok describes himself as a citizen of Pyongyang. “I call it my country because I have been here for 46 years. My life is here. Enough? The government will take care of me until my dying breath.” So would he like to return to the US? “I tell you, yes; I must be honest to you. I would like to see the place. But how can I go there and dance in front of the American government, when they are arming South Korea?” Dresnok knows that he would be arrested on arrival, as was Jenkins, when he returned to the west in 2004. There is no love lost between Dresnok and Jenkins, who recanted on his return just over three years ago, denounced Dresnok and was granted clemency after only 30 days in the clink. Were he ever to leave North Korea, Dresnok is unlikely to get off so lightly, having been painted as the ringleader by Jenkins. Abshier and Parrish both died in North Korea, where their families remain.

…

And with that Comrade Joe prepares to return to his apartment, where his wife and children are waiting. It is illegal to listen to foreign broadcasts, but as he gets up Dresnok offers his opinion on the US election: “I’m told McCain will get it.”

(Hat tip to Gag Halfrunt for the story)